Monday, 12 August 2013

Top Tips for Anger Management

Lately I have been helping a lot of people with anger issues. This is a surprisingly common problem. Lots of people struggle to manage their anger but because it is an aggressive characteristic it is very difficult to admit to and to talk about.

 Anger can manifest itself in various ways. Some people find they shout when they are angry, others become physically aggressive, and others withdraw and become quiet. Many of my clients who tend to withdraw describe it is “going into their cave.”

Anger can be a very physical sensation. Sometime you can feel anger as a heat or a pressure. It might manifest itself as recurring thoughts. Where in your body do you experience anger when you feel it? People often feel their anger in their chest or head.

Anger is a particularly problematic issue because it has so many detrimental effects. As well as being bad for your own physical[1] and psychological health, it also destroys relationships. Many marriages are ended because of anger issues. Relationships between parents and their children can also be very damaged by anger. Excessive anger is also very inappropriate in social situations and the work place, so you can see that being unable to manage your anger can affect all areas of your life.

As part of the hypnotherapy I offer, we identify the causes of anger. Sometimes anger is borne out of a lack of self-esteem or negative experiences from your past. Often anger is a result of frustration. Once we have identified the causes of the anger we can work together to resolve these issues.

Having a good way to release anger is a wonderfully useful skill. The Hand Release Technique described below is easy to do and will really help you to alleviate anger.

Hand Release Technique

1.       Enter self-hypnosis or simply close your eyes, focus on your breathing and relax. You can download a free MP3 to help you achieve hypnosis here.

2.       Think of a recent situation which caused you to feel angry

3.       Allow yourself to remember and experience that situation again as if you were right there again.

4.       Feel the anger building up

5.       Notice where in your body you feel that anger. Does it have a shape? How big is it? Does it have a colour? Is it spiky? Is it hot? Does it bounce around? Really connect with how you experience your anger and notice any other properties it has.

6.       Now, as you continue to visualise that anger, imagine it getting smaller and smaller with every breath you take.

7.       If it is hot, imagine it cooling down. If it is spiky imagine it softening. Imagine its colour changing to white or yellow.

8.       Keep imagining it getting smaller and smaller until it is about the size of a ping pong ball.

9.       Now, imagine that small ball of anger moving through your body and up to your right shoulder.

10.   With each breath you take, imagine it moving along your right arm, eventually ending up in the palm of your right hand.

11.   Open up your right hand and imagine a breeze passing through. The breeze carries away your anger.

12.   Watch your anger float away into nothingness and enjoy that liberating sensation of being free of your old anger.

 If you would like more help and advice on anger management then do get in touch here.

[1] Chronic anger activates the sympathetic nervous system which increases blood pressure. If the sympathetic nervous system is chronically stimulated the high blood pressure can lead to cardiovascular problems.