How To Overcome a Fear Of Being Alone

Recently, I have been helping a lot of clients who have a fear of being alone. Typically, they feel very panicked when their partner goes away and they are at home alone overnight. But this fear can also extend to situations such as travelling on your own or living alone for the first time. It is a horrible way to feel and has a huge impact on your life. The good news is that it is also very treatable.

When you are suffering with any anxiety related issue, such as a fear of being alone, try cutting down on caffeine. Caffeine exacerbates your underlying level of anxiety and simply switching to decaf is a quick win.

From the field of cognitive behavioural therapy, there is a theory that our thoughts lead to our behaviours and our feelings. So we have a negative thought and this thought directly causes a range of negative behaviours and feelings. In this case, that negative feeling is a fear of being alone. A brilliant technique to use is the Thought Form technique.

Thought Forms are laid out as follows:

­­­	Thoughts	Behaviours	Feelings
Negative
Positive

When you notice a negative feeling (e.g. feeling anxiety when you are alone) or a negative behaviour (putting pressure on your partner to stay at home) note it down in the thought form and try to identify the negative thought which caused the negative behaviour and feelings.

Next, identify a more positive thought, behaviour and feeling and note them down in the form.

In the case of a fear of being alone, your form might look like this.

­­­	Thoughts	Behaviours	Feelings
Negative	Something bad will happen to me if I stay at home alone.	Put pressure on partner to stay at home even though they need to go away for work.	Anxiety. Frustrated with myself.
Positive	I am fine. I can enjoy time on my own to do what I want to do.	Watch my favourite film / TV show. Cook a nice meal for myself.	Relaxed, calm, pleased with myself. Enjoying my evening by myself.

At first this exercise can feel a little artificial. You understand it logically but you don't really believe
the positive thoughts. However, doing this exercise for a short while, you become much better and nipping negative thoughts in the bud before they lead to the negative behaviours and feelings. You also start to automatically replace them with the positive thoughts.

If you would like more information about how hypnotherapy can help you, then please get in touch here.

Relationship Insecurities

Have you ever checked your partner's phone or emails? Have you ever been in a bad mood because your partner didn't answer your calls or text you back quickly enough? Have you ever fought with a partner because they found you controlling?
These are all classic symptoms of feeling insecure in a relationship. When you feel insecure in a relationship you try to reassure yourself by checking what your partner has been doing or by questioning them a lot. You try to protect yourself by preventing situations in which they might cheat. The problem with this, is that these behaviours push your partner away, until your fear of losing them becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The root of the feelings of insecurity, which cause the negative behaviours, is low self-esteem. When you feel insecure you have a subconscious negative belief that,
"I'm not good enough," or
"I don't deserve."

These beliefs are completely false and hold you back in life. Of course you are good enough and deserve to be in a happy relationship, if that is what you want.

These negative beliefs are usually picked up earlier in your life, often from things like being bullied at school, being in an emotionally abusive relationship or being cheated on by a previous partner.

Here are three simple strategies to boost your self-esteem and enhance your relationships.

1) Accept compliments with a "Thank You." Also accept them in your own mind.

2) Do something every day just for you. This isn't something you need to do, or have to do, it's something that is just for you. This boosts your self-esteem as you get into the habit of putting your own needs first.

3) Write down at least three good things about yourself every day. These could be things you like about your physical appearance, skills you have, activities you have done well that day, nice personality traits etc.

Here's the link to a video where I explain these tasks in more details.

https://youtu.be/mTmPMwnVTK4

If you have found this article beneficial please do check out my website for more information about how hypnotherapy can help you.

The dreaded team meeting

His hands were sweaty. His heart was racing, as it had been since they had all filed into the meeting room. He could feel his face was bright red. He was fidgeting with the pen in his hand, trying to calm himself down, not listening to the words any of his colleagues were saying, while simultaneously painfully aware of whose turn it was to speak. Three more people, then it was Pete's turn to give his update to the group.

He hated the weekly team meeting. He knew it was ridiculous, but speaking to the group filled Pete with anxiety, which was getting worse over time. Usually one of the most dedicated and conscientious members of staff, he had pulled a sicky two weeks ago when he was scheduled to chair the meeting. Panic not pride had accompanied his boss's recent suggestion that he go for a promotion.

Although Pete is a fictional character, this story is one I see all the time as a hypnotherapist.

Situations such as:

• speaking up in team meetings,
• giving presentations and
• having conversations with your boss

are very intimidating for many of us.

Unfortunately, as well as being a horrible way to feel, it can really hold you back in your career. Time and time again I meet people who avoided promotions because they didn't want to present to groups.

Thankfully this is treatable. A very beneficial technique is Systematic Desensitization.

You can do this yourself as follows:

1. Get yourself into a lovely relaxed state by lying on your bed, closing your eyes and breathing slowly and deeply.
2. When you are very relaxed, imagine yourself in your team meeting. Really imagine it as vividly as possible, engaging all of your senses.
3. As you imagine yourself coping in a very calm, relaxed way, hold onto that level of physical relaxation.
4. Imagine confidently delivering your talk.
5. As you continue to focus on maintaining that relaxation, imagine through to the end of the meeting, when you all leave the room.
6. Repeat as often as possible.

This techniques works by making a new association in your mind between relaxation and team meetings. You can't be very relaxed and very anxious at the same time. It's physically impossible due to the neurotransmitters which are released in each state. So by pairing the team meeting situation with relaxation, you remove the anxiety.

If you would like more information about hypnotherapy, well-being and personal development, please subscribe to my newsletter in the top right.

How To Overcome Insomnia

Insomnia is a very common problem and can have a huge negative impact on your quality of life. Sometimes insomnia can be a life long problem, sometimes it starts during periods of stress or sometimes it starts for no apparent reason.

There are a few simple strategies which can help to improve your sleep. Avoiding caffeine late in the day will help. Aim to do more exercise. Throughout the day our bodies produce a hormone called adenosine. The levels of adenosine increase throughout the day as we do more activity. The higher the level the sleepier we feel. Doing regular exercise further increases the level of adenosine.

Another hormone which plays an important role in sleep is melatonin. Our eyes detect the light levels in our environment. As it gets darker, our eyes detect the decreasing light levels and release a hormone called melatonin, in response to this. Melatonin causes us to feel drowsy. One of the problems with modern life is that we look at a lot of light emitting screens, such as computers, TVs and phones. When we do this in the evening, it tricks our brain into thinking it is still day time and the body does not produce enough melatonin.
If you are struggling with insomnia, avoid light emitting screens in the evening. Switch to reading a paper book or magazine instead.

Often, we have thoughts running through our head when we are trying to sleep. This could be things we have to do tomorrow. They could be worries and stresses. These intrusive thoughts can keep us awake at night. A good solution is to keep a notebook by your bed. You can write down these thoughts in your notebook and park them for the night. This is particularly useful if you are thinking about things you have to get done the next day.

Insomnia is often linked to stress. When we are chronically stressed, one of our biological systems, called the sympathetic nervous system, stimulates the fight or flight response. When we are chronically in this fight or flight mode, it plays havoc with our sleep patterns. Take stress seriously and take steps to manage it. Perhaps you could start meditation, ask for more help from friends and family or speak to your boss about reducing your work load.

Hypnotherapy is very effective for treating both stress and insomnia so please do get in touch to find out more.

Here are some of the lovely things my previous clients have said about how hypnotherapy helped with insomnia.

"Having gone down many routes in the past to try and rectify my debilitating sleep problem, I went to see Catherine.  After only two sessions, I found to my surprise, regular sleep patterns started to return.  The CD that was supplied was extremely helpful in enabling me to relax and not dwell on the problems that were causing my sleep deprivation.  I would recommend Catherine to anyone with a similar problem."



"Thank you for your help. I still wake up but am now able to go back to sleep again which is amazing! This morning I woke at 7:30, which is a first for me!"

"I have been making great progress with CDs and techniques you have shown me to get a better nights sleep. I'm happy to say its working and I'm waking up much less than before, and more often than not sleeping through the night. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your help, you really have made a difference."

If you would like more information about hypnotherapy, well-being and personal development, please subscribe to my newsletter in the top right.

Boost Self-Confidence - 3 Week Online Course

The perfect solution if you:

• lack self-esteem
• doubt yourself or worry about not being good enough
• suffer from social anxiety
• find it difficult to speak up at work
• find big groups of people intimidating

While one to one, personalised hypnotherapy sessions are undoubtedly the best way to overcome self-confidence issues, sometimes money can be tight and it can be difficult to commit to a course of therapy in my clinic.

This digital course is the perfect, affordable alternative.

The Boost Self-Confidence course is set over three weeks. Each week you will receive an audio recording of a session, a hypnosis MP3 and homework tasks to complete.

The full course is £99 in total.

Please note that I send the courses out manually so there will be a delay between purchasing the course and receiving it.

Here are some of the lovely things people have said about how hypnotherapy has helped with self-esteem issues.

"I felt much calmer and less anxious.  Catherine gave me a few tips to help with my thought process and I've found myself thinking clearer and I'm able to think positively rather than thinking negatively by focusing on what may happen.  I've really enjoyed the MP3's and can honestly see a big improvement in how I feel.  Thank you"

"Since the course of hypnotherapy my daughter presents herself with a new found confidence – even to people she knew before.  She speaks to lecturers at College if she needs to question anything, although this might be waiting until the rest of the class has left, but she would never have done this before.  I would highly recommend Catherine for anyone having an issue with confidence, especially young people as she certainly makes them feel at ease and improves their outlook on life. "

"You have truly been a miracle worker for us. We both feel so much more relaxed, confident and positive and now looking forward to the future and not just existing anymore. I would and will recommend you to anyone who has any issues they want to treat with hypnotherapy."

How To Overcome Social Anxiety

As a hypnotherapist, one of the most common issues I treat, is social anxiety. This issue can manifest in a number of different ways, from avoiding nights out, to not speaking up in groups, to wanting to plan every detail of the event.

As well as social situations, this type of anxiety is very commonly experienced in the work place. Lots of people find team meetings very intimidating or get very nervous when speaking to their boss.

Social anxiety is one of these issues which has a huge impact on your wellbeing. It is horrible feeling anxious. It also holds you back in life. I've met people who have avoided going to university because they are so worried about meeting new people. I've also encountered people who have been held back in their career because they have been too shy to put their ideas forward or deliberately avoid interviews.

So, how do you overcome social anxiety? How do you become less shy?

The first way is to push your comfort level. We all have a circle of comfort around us. Inside the circle are the things we are comfortable with doing, for example, spending time with close family. Towards the edge of the circle are the things which make us mildly uncomfortable, for example, walking into the cafeteria at work on our own. Outside the circle are the things we avoid, for example, a party where we don't know many people. The problem is, that as we start to avoid the things on the edge of the circle, our circle of comfort gets smaller. So, one way to widen that comfort circle and to decrease anxiety, is to keep challenging yourself to do things, which are just beyond your comfort level. Challenge yourself to do one thing per day, for example:

• Present an idea to your boss.
• Volunteer to speak in a team meeting
• Start a conversation with the cashier in the supermarket
• Go for a coffee on your own

Each time you do one of these challenges, you prove to yourself that you can do it. You also realise that nothing disastrous happens.

The second way to overcome social anxiety is to notice the way you speak to yourself, in your own mind. We all have an inner monologue, going on inside our own minds, all of the time. Sometimes this inner monologue can be very critical and negative. For example:

• I'll make an idiot of myself if I speak up
• I haven't got anything interesting to say
• Everyone will think I'm boring
• People might make fun of me

Sometimes this critical inner voice stems from things said to us in our childhood. Sometimes it stems from beliefs we have picked up through our adult lives. However, it can be changed. You do not have to get stuck with this internal criticism.

Whenever you find yourself being negative, stop and think of someone you love very much. Would you say the same thing to them? No, you wouldn't. So don't say it to yourself. It is so important for your general happiness and confidence, that you speak to yourself as if you are your own best friend.

Another great way to boost self-confidence and overcome social anxiety is by using the Confidence Hypnosis MP3, which is available here.

If you would like more information about hypnotherapy, well-being and personal development, please subscribe to my newsletter in the top right.

Accessing A Positive State Of Mind - The Golf Mind Set Series - Issue 4

A great performance in any sport involves a great deal of mind-body interaction. Golf possibly more than others. As a golfer, you know how your mood can affect your game. You are probably familiar with how challenging it can be to get yourself into the right frame of mind.

This is the forth blog in the Golf Mindset Series. To maximize your golf performance, you can also read Post 1, Post 2 and Post 3.

Getting yourself in to the right frame of mind, or state, is crucial to golfing success. If you believe you will perform badly, then you will. You know how sometimes you feel very confident, as though you could take on anyone and win. Other times you are dreading even starting the round. So what is it that causes these differences? And how can you always be in the good state?

A range of things can cause us to be in a good or bad frame of mind. Often it is external triggers, also called anchors. Common anchors related to golf are:

• What the weather is like
• Whether you got caught in traffic on the way to the course
• Who you're playing with
• What your work environment was like earlier in the day

All sorts of things affect our mind set and can change our state, putting us into a positive or negative state of mind. 

Anchors exist every day in our day to day lives, not just related to golf. For example, if you hear a song of the radio which reminds you of a good night out, and makes you laugh, the song is the anchor and the state is fun and laughter. Or, if you smell a perfume which reminds you of someone you used to know, and makes you feel nostalgic, the perfume is the anchor and the state is nostalgia. 

The good news is that we can use the phenomenon of anchoring to our advantage. You can create a trigger to instantly get you back into a good positive state of mind for playing golf. 

You do this as follows. Close your eyes and remember your best game. Really engage your imagination. Remember the best bits in clear detail. Use all of your senses to recall what you could see around you, how light it was, what you could hear and smell, how the club felt in your hand and the position of your body. When you are fully back in the memory create a trigger word and say it aloud to yourself. A trigger word could be something like, 'win,' 'play,' 'shot' or anything else which you feel works well for the situation. Repeat this process several times and you will firmly establish a link between the trigger word and the positive state. You can then use this trigger word whenever you want to feel confident about winning. 

Anchoring is a wonderful skill to learn and you can use this skill in many areas of your life.

Have you ever used anchoring? Do you have any other hints for improving your golf game. If so please do add them in the comments below.

If you would like more information about hypnotherapy, well-being and personal development, please subscribe to my newsletter in the top right.

The History of Hypnosis

Many of my clients are interested in the origins of hypnotherapy. This post explains the evolution of hypnotherapy and how hypnotherapy fits in with general trends in the field of psychology, over the years.

It's quite a technical, heavy blog but great for those of you with an interest in psychology.

Hypnotherapy and hypnosis is continually evolving and changing. How and why it changes is dependent on what is popular at the time, new research and scientific discoveries and how it is portrayed in the media, among other things.

Hypnosis as a phenomena has been around for centuries, and there is evidence of it having been used as far back as the ancient Egyptian times, where it was used in sleep temples, which were used for healing. Throughout the dark ages hypnotic phenomena and processes were often associated with exorcisms. 

Magnetic healing and the field of magnetism as a healing process also became popular throughout the 16th and 17th century. Mesmer (1734-1815) took the ideas of magnetism and developed mesmerism which was similar to the stage hypnosis we are familiar with these days. Mesmerism became very popular and Mesmer would hold parties where large tubs would be filled with water and iron filings which Mesmer would then apparently magnetize. The individual at these gatherings would have all sorts of reactions such as hysteria, crying, fainting and convulsing. Following Mesmer and mesmerism other proponents of mesmerism such as Marquis De Puysegur (1751-1825) and Abbe de Faria (1756-1819) developed the field further and introduced concepts such as artificial somnambulism, animal magnetism and lucid sleep.

James Braid (1795-1860) is often considered the father of modern hypnosis. James Braid was an optometrist. He was interested in the field of mesmerism and how it worked, although he did not generally believe the theories. Braid coined the term hypnosis and also developed the eye fixation induction which is still popular among hypnotherapists and hypnotists today.

During the early part of the 20th century the work of Freud, popularized the concept of a subconscious mind. Freud's practices, often referred to as psychoanalytic or psychodynamic therapy, used hypnosis to access the subconscious mind. 

By the 1960s the popularity of psychoanalytic therapy, developed in the earlier part of the 20^th century had decreased. By the 1960s hypnotherapy had been endorsed as a treatment by both the British and American medical associations. A particularly prominent figure in the world of hypnosis during the 1960s was Dave Elman. Dave Elman helped to promote the use of hypnosis as a medical tool during the 1960s. Along with the endorsement of hypnotherapy the 1950s and 1960s also saw new ideas about hypnosis which challenged the state theories of hypnosis which had been prevalent since the ideas of mesmerism in previous centuries. State theories propose that hypnosis is a unique state. with specific phenomena which can not be detected in the non-hypnotized state. Non-state theory proposes that hypnosis is not different from general relaxation. Three notable individuals, Sarbin, Spanos and Barber, particularly pioneered the non-state theory of hypnosis. Sarbin put forward the idea of ‘Role Enactment’, Role Enactment suggested that the hypnotherapy client was playing a role of being hypnotized and this is how hypnosis was induced. Spanos rejected the state theory of hypnosis in favour of the theory of Goal Directed Fantasy. Spanos also developed the Carleton Skills Training Program, which showed that hypnotizability can improve with practise. Barber suggested that hypnosis was not a special state and instead was the result of Imaginal Absorption. Barber was a Cognitive-Behavioural Therapist.

Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) was developed in the 1960s. CBT was based on the Rational Emotive Therapy (RET) developed by Albert Ellis in the mid 1950s (although it was not named RET until the 1990s). Ellis developed RET as an alternative to what he considered to be the ineffectiveness of psychodynamic therapy. Ellis had been influenced by behaviourists, such as John Dollard, Neal Miller, and Joseph Wolpe, and George Kelly. In addition to being born out of the work of Ellis and the behaviourists, CBT was also based on the work of Aaron Beck in the 1960s. Beck developed Cognitive Therapy, which at the time was a breakthrough treatment for depression.

Around this time the work of Milton Erickson was becoming increasingly influential. Erickson’s approach did not fit into any of the existing schools of psychotherapy. It was not psychodynamic, behavioural or cognitive behavioural approaches. He used a lot of hypnotherapy in his work which brought hypnotherapy back into psychotherapy after it had been out of fashion in this field for some time. Erickson’s methods did not seem to follow any set rules and his treatment methods varied from client to client. This help to develop the ideas of a more client centred approach in hypnotherapy. One element of Erickson’s approach which was particularly notable was his use of language. He developed a lot of hypnotic language which is still used a great deal by hypnotherapists today.

The new approaches of non-state hypnosis in the 1960s along with the development of CBT in the 1960s opened the door for new innovations in psychotherapy and personal development throughout the 1970s. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed during the 1970s by Bandler and Grinder and continued to evolve right through the 1980s and 1990s. NLP was based on the idea of doing, rather than theorizing and has heavily influenced by the work of Erikson. Bandler and Grinder published Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson Volume I (1975), followed in 1977 by Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson Volume II. NLP sharply moved away from the previously held ideas of behaviourism. During the 1990s attempts were made to consolidate the work within NLP into a more formalized structure. There had been various legal arguments and disputes within NLP which were finally settled in 2001 allowing NLP to be made into a more professional practice.

Irving Kirsch (1943-present) is the biggest contributor to date in terms of research into hypnosis. Kirsch currently splits his time between lecturing at universities in the USA and the UK. He has developed theories relating to the role of expectancy in hypnosis. This theory is called Kirsch’s Response Expectancy Theory and it details the link between the placebo effect and hypnosis. Kirsch has also contributed a lot of research on anti-depressants. This work has helped the field of mental health to look at other forms of therapy as opposed to always using drug therapy, as Kirsch found the drug effect to be surprisingly small.

Throughout the 1990s CBT and NLP remained popular forms of psychotherapy and personal development. Hypnosis, however became increasingly popular as a form of entertainment. Paul McKenna had a very popular show on TV which depicted hypnosis and something to be used as a tool to make others make fools of themselves. Derren Brown, in the first decade of the 21^st century continued to use hypnotism as a form of entertainment. 

Throughout the 1990s, 2000s and this decade there was a boom of self-help books. A lot of these were based on the CBT model. Hypnosis CDs also started to be marketed which effectively brought hypnotherapy to the masses. The sorts of issues that are associated with hypnotherapy have also changed recently. The Hypnotic Gastric Band for example, is a very popular procedure now. However, this treatment was unheard of 10 years ago.

Hypnosis continues to be an area which attracts a lot of attention and research. Modern researchers include Martin Orne of the University of Pennsylvania and Graham Wagstaff of Liverpool University who have both published widely on the subject. Technological developments within the last 10 years have allowed us to study hypnosis in greater depth. The use of technology such as EEG scans and PET scans allows us to view the human brain in hypnosis.

The fields of psychology and hypnosis are fascinating and I'm sure will continue to develop dramatically in the next few decades. 

If you would like more information about hypnotherapy, well-being and personal development, please subscribe to my newsletter in the top right.

It’s not hard but it’s hard to talk about!

So, erectile dysfunction. Of course you don’t suffer from it, but maybe you have a ‘friend’ who does?  It’s very common but rarely discussed openly. Losing an erection or failing to get an erection is a very common problem which affects most men at some point in their lives. Sex is an important part of life and this problem can often cause you to lose confidence, your relationships might suffer and it can make you feel anxious or down. Although it’s a very common problem, the good news is that there is a lot that can be done to help the situation.

Common causes of erectile dysfunction include stress, tiredness, worry, as well as physical problems such as impaired blood flow down there.

Let’s talk a little biology now.

Our autonomic nervous system is the part of our body which looks after things like our breathing, digestion, immune system, reproductive systems etc. Basically all the systems in your body which work without you being consciously aware, are controlled by your autonomic nervous system.

This system can be in one of two states:

A Fight or Flight State

A Rest and Reproduction State

When we are anxious or stressed our Fight or Flight Response is stimulated. This causes blood flow to be diverted to our arms and legs. It causes our heart rate and breathing to quicken and adrenaline to be released. All these reactions get us ready to run or fight. When the Fight or Flight response kicks in, sex and erections are suppressed. After all, if you had to run from danger the last thing you would want would be an erection!

This system worked brilliantly when we evolved and were subjected to short term stress, such as running from a predator. Unfortunately, in modern life, we can be stressed about work, difficult relationships or social pressures. This means we are often stressed chronically.

When this happens, the Rest and Reproduction System is suppressed over a long period of time, often leading to erectile dysfunction. Of course, once erectile dysfunction becomes an issue you get anxious about it happening and this exacerbates the issue.

Erectile dysfunction can be caused by physical or psychological factors.

The most common physical cause of erectile dysfunction is restricted blood flow to the penis, causing by narrowing of the blood vessels. If you are suffering then do go and see your GP. If you are suffering with erectile dysfunction you should speak to your GP first to identify any underlying physical issues.

As a hypnotherapist I help men to overcome erectile dysfunction which has been caused by psychological factors. The key is to remove any anxiety related to sex. This turns off the Fight or Flight Response and turns on the Rest and Reproduction Response.

There is a great technique you can use to do this.

1) Get yourself into a lovely relaxed state, either by focussing on your breathing or imagining various parts of your body relaxing in turn.

2) When you feel very relaxed, double that level of relaxation, perhaps by imagining going down levels or walking down a flight of stairs, relaxing more with each step.

3) When you are really relaxed imagine yourself in bed with your partner. Really imagine it as vividly as possible, as if you're actually there. Notice what you see, hear and feel.

4) All the time concentrate on relaxation and hold on to that level of relaxation.

5) Imagine the whole scenario all the way through to the end and see yourself successfully getting and maintaining an erection and having good sex.

6) Repeat as often as possible.

Hypnotherapy is very effective for helping to overcome erectile dysfunction. If you would like a hypnosis MP3 to help you with this problem you can download one from:

http://www.cs-hypnotherapy.co.uk/Mp3download.aspx

How To Use Your Mind To Overcome The Yips. The Golf Mind Set Series – Issue 1

Admittedly golf is never a life or death situation. However, if golf is your way of relaxing after a busy week at work, or if golf is your opportunity to socialize or network, then you want it to be as enjoyable as possible don’t you?

If you are a keen golfer, then you will already be aware of how much mind-body interaction there is in the game.

• Have intrusive thoughts ever messed up a shot for you?
• Do you overthink your swing?
• If you make one mistake, does that affect the rest of your game?
• Are you a better player when there is less pressure?

If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” then you can use the simple techniques discussed in this series of blogs, to improve your game.

Imagine how good that will be. You winning the game, sauntering to the club house with an air of importance usually only seen in young pop stars, casually shoehorning your score into every conversation, walking in slow motion as if you are in a TV advert for golf clubs. I know nobody likes a smug winner…..but who cares? Not you, you’re the winner!

OK, so maybe the above is a little over the top. But it certainly feels better to win your game than to lose right?

So what are the secrets? How do you use your mind to help you rather than hinder you on the golf course?

Let’s talk about the yips first. I’ve treated many experienced golfers who inexplicably start twitching or shaking when playing. Often this can start suddenly and is very frustrating. An almost universal trend seen in golfers suffering with the yips, is that it only happens when they are under pressure. It only happens when an important game is being played, not if they are practicing on their own.

What does this tell you?

Well, it tells you there is no physical issue. This issue is purely in the mind. Therefore, it is relatively easy to resolve. The problem happens when you are under pressure, about to take that big shot in an important game. That game when you definitely don’t want to look stupid in front of everyone. All this pressure activates your fight or flight response. Your fight or flight response (also called the sympathetic nervous response) is triggered when your mind perceives you are in danger. Your body then gets ready to run or fight. Clearly this is not the correct response when you want your fine motor skills to be at their best and to be cool and calm taking a shot.

So how can we fix this?

There is a wonderfully simply technique you can use. This technique (called Systematic Desensitization, to give it its fancy name) makes a new association in your mind, between taking the shot and feeling calm.

You can’t be very calm and very anxious at the same time. If you make a new, strong association in your mind between taking an important shot in an important game, and feeling calm, then you are removing the anxiety.

Here’s how to do this:

1) Get yourself into a lovely relaxed state, by downloading and listening to my free Enter Hypnosis MP3 here. 

2) When you are really relaxed, imagine you are playing an important game. Really imagine it as vividly as possible, as if you're actually there. Notice what you see, hear and feel.

3) All the time concentrate on relaxation and hold on to that level of relaxation.

4) Imagine the whole scenario all the way through to the end and see yourself hitting the perfect shot, over and over again.

5) Repeat as often as possible.

This technique works by pairing the feeling of calm relaxation with the scenario in your mind. It's impossible to feel relaxed and anxious at the same time so the association of relaxation replaces that of anxiety or pressure.

This is the first in a series of blogs about golf and mind set. Please leave comments and check out the other blog entries in this series.

For more about the power of visualization in sports performance check out the podcast with professional power lifter and gold medal winning Laura Shea here.
http://cshypnotherapypodcast.blogspot.co.uk/2016/01/feb-2016-laura-shea-gold-medal-winning.html

If you would like more information about hypnotherapy, well-being and personal development, please subscribe to my newsletter in the top right.

Hypnotherapy – a proven treatment for Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Hypnotherapy is generally associated with helping with issues of the mind, such as phobias, depression and habits.

However, hypnotherapy is also fantastic for helping with many physical issues, particularly Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). The evidence to support the beneficial effects of hypnotherapy for IBS has been proven. It is one of the most successful ways of treating chronic IBS.

IBS is very common, affecting 10-15% of the U.S population.[1]  IBS is characterised by bouts of diarrhoea, constipation, abdominal cramps and swelling. It can be very painful. As well as the unpleasant physical sensations, people with IBS often worry about being close to a toilet. This can lead to increased anxiety and also limit where you can go and what you feel comfortable doing. Many people often feel down due to the effects of IBS.

It is unknown what causes IBS. There seems to be a combination of genetic and environmental factors. IBS tends to start in adult life and can, in some cases, start after a gut infection. IBS can run in families, with relatives of an individual with IBS being 2-3 times more likely to have IBS than the general population.[2] 

Unfortunately there is no cure for IBS and it is typically managed using a combination of diet and medication.

Hypnotherapy, as a treatment for IBS has been shown to be effective for about 70% of sufferers.[3]    

Hypnotherapy produces dramatic improvement of all the features associated with IBS (abdominal pain, abdominal distension, general wellbeing and bowel habits). In addition to producing dramatic effects, patients who receive hypnotherapy treatment for IBS do not relapse in the first 3 months.[4]

The evidence for the effectiveness of hypnotherapy for treating IBS is so strong that the National Health Service, in the U.K. prescribes hypnotherapy as a treatment for IBS in certain areas of the country.

Hypnotherapy can also be used in conjunction with traditional treatments such as medication. The advantages of hypnotherapy as a treatment are:

·         Hypnosis is pleasant

·         Many people prefer not to take medication and hypnotherapy provides a viable alternative

·         Hypnotherapy helps with the psychological aspects of IBS, such as anxiety about going out

·         The effects of hypnotherapy last well after treatment is complete.

·         There are no side effects

Hypnotherapy is wonderful for treating IBS, both the physical symptoms and the emotional effects. If you would like to try this wonderful treatment, get in touch on cs@cs-hypnotherapy.co.uk and I will send you a free MP3, usually only available for my one to one clients.

Here are a couple of additional techniques you can use at home to alleviate the symptoms of IBS.

The warm hand technique

This technique is designed to alleviate the pain and discomfort of IBS. You may be familiar with using a hot water bottle to relieve pain. This technique works on the same principle.

1.       Enter a state of hypnosis using the Enter Hypnosis MP3 available here.

2.       Imagine that you are in the most comfortable room with a fireplace, lying on a luxurious couch or bed.

3.       Imagine a fire burning in the fireplace, reasonably close you to.

4.       Imagine putting your hand near to the fire, so that your hand gradually warms up. Take some time to really feel your hand getting warmer and warmer. 

5.       When your hand feels really warm, move your hand to rest of your abdomen. Really do this, don’t just imagine it.

6.       Allow that warmth to spread from your hand deep into your abdomen.

7.       As the warmth spreads, any pain just melts away.

The River Technique

IBS is characterised by a bad flow through the digestive system. Either, the flow is too slow, causing constipation or it is too fast, leading to diarrhoea. Our minds have a lot more control over our bodies than we may realize. Even parts of our body that seem to work without any conscious thought, such as our blood flow, heart rate and digestive system are all affected by our minds. When we remember an embarrassing event we can blush again. This is an example of a single though affecting the dilation of the capillaries in our face. When people are anxious about something they often experience this anxiety in their stomachs.

The following exercise uses the mind body connection to help you with your IBS.

1.       Enter a state of hypnosis using the Enter Hypnosis MP3 available here.

2.       Imagine, sense or feel your gut, your entire digestive tract.

3.       Using your wonderful imagination, imagine your digestive system is a river.

4.       Imagine the beginning of your digestive system, where your food enters your stomach. See the river as flowing easily and smoothly. Take the time to really visualise this as clearly as possible.

5.       Now leave that part of the river and become aware of another part of the river, further down, which is not flowing well. Perhaps it is blocked, or the river is very choppy.

6.       Imagine you can modify the banks of the river. You can change the shape of the river to widen the river and let it flow more easily. You could add some meanders so the river flows more slowly. You can widen the river so it flows more slowly. Take your time to modify as much as is right for you.

I hope you find this information useful if you do suffer with IBS. If you would like a free hypnosis MP3, specifically for alleviating the symptoms of IBS then please get in touch on cs@cs-hypnotherapy.co.uk.

If you would like more information about hypnotherapy, well-being and personal development, please subscribe to my newsletter in the top right.

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[1] http://www.aboutibs.org/site/what-is-ibs/facts/

[2] (The Role of Genetics in IBS Yuri A. Saito, Gastroenterol Clin North Am. 2011 March; 40(1): 45–67. )

[3] (Hypnotherapy for irritable bowel syndrome: The response of colonic and noncolonic symptoms,

Peter J. Whorwell, Journal of Psychosomatic Research 64 (2008) 621–623).

[4] (Whorwell PJ, Prior A, Faragher EB. Controlled trial of hypnotherapy in the treatment of severe refractory irritable-bowel syndrome. Lancet 1984;2:1232–4.)

How to increase self-confidence

People often associate hypnotherapy with weight loss and giving up smoking. However, in my years of practice, I have seen far more people for confidence and self-esteem issues.

Low self-confidence and self-esteem is a very common problem. For some people it’s a general feeling of not being good enough, or a fear of being found out. For others, they feel a lack of confidence in certain situations, such as social events, or in meetings at work.

Although a lack of self-confidence is very common, it can also be crippling. Before coming to see me, many of my clients had been held back from achieving their full potential. People who lack confidence in social situations often get very anxious about them and therefore avoid socialising. This can make them feel lonely. Others, who lack confidence in a work environment, have often not progressed as far as they could have in their careers, because they avoided interviews or speaking up in meetings.

However, there is no need to feel like this. You can easy build your self confidence. Here are eight simple steps to take to increase your self-confidence:

11)      Download your hypnosis MP3 to Build Self-Confidence.

A freebie just for you guys. You can have a hypnosis MP3 (usually £10) for building self-confidence. Simply email me on cs@cs-hypnotherapy.co.uk with the message "I want to be super confident." 

22)      Accept compliments  

What happens when you receive a compliment? Do you immediately deflect  or dismiss it? It’s very common to push compliments away when you have low self-confidence. From now on accept compliments with a simple “Thank You.” Also, make sure you accept the compliment in your own mind.

3)      Do something every day just for you.

 Plan something every day that you enjoy. This is not something you should do, or need to do. It’s something that you want to do. This lifts your mood and is great for your self-esteem as you are putting yourself first.




4)      Speak to yourself as though you are your own best friend  

Notice how you speak to yourself in your own mind. We often speak to ourselves in a very negative way. Are you ever critical about yourself in your own mind? Often we say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t dream of saying to a best friend. Speaking to yourself in a negative way has a detrimental effect on your confidence. From now on, talk to yourself in an encouraging and motivational way. It’s amazing how quickly this will make a difference to your self-confidence.

55)      Learn from others.

As children, we learn by copying the behaviour of adults. This learning continues when we are adults. We can learn negative or positive behaviours from others. Think of someone who is confident. Choose someone who is quietly confident, and has an air of calm and being happy in their own skin. Don’t choose someone who is overly loud or brash. These people often lack confidence too. Once you’ve thought of someone who has an air of inner confidence, notice how they behave. How do they speak? How do they walk? How do they use eye contact? Once you’ve noticed these things, start incorporating them into your own behaviour patterns. At first this feels a little artificial, but it soon becomes second nature.

66)      Challenge yourself.

If we are anxious about certain situations, if certain situations are beyond your comfort zone, it’s very easy to avoid those situations. The problem is, that by avoiding certain situations, your comfort zone becomes smaller and smaller. As you avoid things, you become more anxious about less challenging situations, and avoid them to. Until, you become very limited in what you can do. Challenging yourself reverses this process. Push your boundaries. Do something every day that scares you a little. This is a great thing to do. It puts you back in control. You also show yourself that you can handle various situations.

77)      Write down three good things about yourself

When we have low self-confidence and self-esteem, we often fail to see the good things about ourselves. We can be very hard on ourselves. Every day write down three good things about yourself. These could be things you like about your physical appearance, talents you have, or things you have done well that day. At first this can be difficult, particularly if you have low self-esteem. However, over time it becomes easier.

88)      Surround yourself with positive people

 We are influenced by those around us. If you spend a lot of time with people who are anxious are depressed, it will naturally affect you. Spend more time with happy confident people and it will bring you up.

If you would like more information about hypnotherapy, well-being and personal development, please subscribe to my newsletter in the top right.

How to have a stress free Christmas

Christmas should be a fun time of year. However, with the pressures of present buying, entertaining family and industrial scale food production, Christmas can turn into a stressful time of year. Not to mention the dreaded work Christmas party, loved by the supermodels of this world, loathed by the vast majority. So, how do you relax and enjoy the Christmas season?

Here are five simple ways to have a stress free Christmas.

1)      Notice the good things about yourself. Christmas parties can bring out many people’s insecurities. Instead of focusing on the negative, find five things about yourself that you like. Imagine what your best friend would say to compliment you, and say the same thing to yourself. It’s amazing how this shift in perspective boosts your confidence.

2)      Don’t catastophize. Sometimes, when we’re feeling stressed, small problems seem bigger. We sometimes imagine the worst case scenario. When you notice yourself catastophizing, stop! Challenge your thoughts. Will you be hated by the whole of humanity if you over cook the sprouts? –Unlikely. If you can’t buy the exact present you wanted for your partner. What’s the worst that can really happen? Make you sure you keep small issues in perspective.

3)      Say No. We often want to please everyone. However, it’s OK to be a little selfish from time to time. If you feel too busy to attend an event, say No to it. If you have got too much on your plate, (metaphorically speaking!), then ask family members or friends to help. It’s important to look after yourself and not to get swept up in putting everyone else’s needs before your own.

4)      Do something every day just for you. Plan something each day, which you enjoy. This is not
something you have to do or should do, it’s something you want to do. It could be something like reading a book or magazine, meeting up with a friend, or going for a walk. Do something every day just for you. This is a great way to relax, feel happier and also to boost your self-esteem.

5)      Download my free Wash Away Stress MP3 (usually £10) here.

If you would like more information about hypnotherapy, well-being and personal development, please subscribe to my newsletter in the top right.